Tired Of Being An Angry Parent? Here’s How You Can Manage Your Rage

27 Jan 2021

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Parenting can be an emotional roller coaster, especially if you’re a first-time parent. Your love for your child is unconditional and limitless. You’d literally take a bullet for them without even giving it a thought. There is absolutely no questioning your love and care. However, despite the unimaginable depths of your love for them, you snap at times when your buttons are pushed after a certain limit. 

Although a hint of strictness, from time to time, is necessary for discipline, uncontrolled rage and extreme anger portrayed by parents can scar a child for life. Therefore, it is crucial to learn how to manage your rage as a parent and help your child have a childhood with happy memories. In this article, we will tell you just how you can do that. Keep reading!  

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Why Do We Get So Angry At Our Kids?

Bringing up a child is not an easy job and it’s something no one can deny. With the joy that they bring, they also bring one huge added responsibility to the existing ones including work, family, household chores, and the uncountable others. In such a setting, it’s easy to lose patience and feel the rage building up when things don’t go as planned.

Disagreements with your partner (and in most Indian cases family too) about the ways to raise your child, discipline them and other such things can lead to frustration and anger and leave you feeling unsupported. 

Sometimes your child’s tantrums, anger and frustration can make you feel angry too. Like for example, if your child, while throwing a tantrum, disrespects you or speaks rudely to you, you may in the spur of the moment react with anger and regret it later. There are several other factors that can make you more likely to feel angry, some of them include illness, work pressure, stress, financial difficulties, lack of sleep and not getting enough time for yourself [1].

Click Here If Lack Of Sleep Is The Cause Of Your Anger

How Does Your Anger Affect Your Child?

You can set a good example for your child if you simply take a few deep breaths and walk away when you’re angry. At the same time, if you lose your temper and take a violent call in front of your children, it can have some serious negative impact on your child. 

Studies have found that children often blame themselves for the anger emerging in the adults in their lives [2]. It stresses them and often has a negative impact on their developing brains. Growing up with a violent family puts children at risk of mental illness later in life, or normalizes it for them which turns them into angry and grumpy adults. Using violence or hurtful words towards your children can make them feel worthless and rupture their self-esteem.

Manage Your Rage With These Tips

  • Take A Deep Breath: It doesn’t matter even if you are in the middle of an argument with your child, it is never too late to stop. Just take a few deep breaths and try to calm yourself down. It may feel like backing down, and trust us, it is the most important step in managing anger.
  • Find Your Trigger: Every individual has a different trigger. Therefore, it is important to know yours and work towards changing it
  • Listen To Your Thoughts: Although it may seem like all you feel is anger, there’s a hidden feeling that is suppressed by all that rage. It’s always helpful to identify that feeling and address it. It may be helplessness, fear, or a feeling of being overwhelmed. 
  • Observe Your Body: Your body responds to anger as soon as it starts building up. Observing your body may help you catch your anger sooner and give you more time to calm down. Common physical symptoms include tight shoulders, clenched fists, racing heart, etc.   
  • Reevaluate The Situation: After calming yourself down, sit and reevaluate the situation. Think about what you could’ve done differently and ensure that you handle similar situations differently next time. 
  • Talk To Your Child: If you think certain behavior of your child is what triggers your range, talk to your child about it and make them understand how it’s having a negative impact on both of you.
  • Seek Help: If you think no matter what you just don’t seem to have control over your anger, you must seek professional help. 

References: 

  1. https://raisingchildren.net.au/guides/first-1000-days/looking-after-yourself/anger-management-for-parents
  2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4244839/
  3. https://www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/controlling-your-anger-as-a-parent

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