Make Peace Not War: Dealing With Spouses During Lockdown

30 Apr 2020

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The COVID-19 pandemic has affected every aspect of our lives – be it our lifestyle, work, finances, emotions and relationships, especially with the spouse! Everyone is stuck at home, which means you spend more time with your partner, relying on him/her for childcare and housekeeping, while balancing your work-from-home duties.

While it is normal to have few issues while trying to harmonise the routine and new responsibilities, some of you may find it difficult to deal with your partner. Besides the usual coping strategies like venturing out to meet the friends, jog at the park, weekend trekking which you adored a lot, are also now far from reach.

Relationship woes if not sorted on time can buckle under pressure and carrying out the daily activities may become cumbersome. If you feel your relationship is under strain, it’s time you take steps to resolve the issues so that you and your family sail smoothly through these tough times.

Here are a few tips to follow to stay sane and deal with your spouse during the lockdown:

  1. Work on yourself

Irrespective of how you have been living your life all these years, it’s time you now start practising a disciplined life. Develop a positive outlook on life. Set some time aside alone to learn a course online, learn a new language, music or dance. You could also take up a hobby like gardening, knitting, painting, baking, etc.

The idea is to do something constructive and dissuade your mind from anxiety. Working on yourself will help you calm down and give you a sense of achievement.

  1. Exercise

While maintaining a physically active lifestyle is challenging in COVID crisis, exercising daily for at least 30 minutes is the best way to keep your body moving and agile. When you exercise, your body releases a hormone endorphin, which is known to relax your mind and make you feel better and happy.  

  1. Share the chores

The number of clashes between the couple can easily come down if partners divide the chores among themselves. If the wife takes care of cooking, the husband can do the dishes and vacuum the floor. Put on your favourite music while doing the chores to turn it into a fun activity. You could involve kids in the tasks as well by asking them to declutter the dining table or space. It will help inculcate a sense of responsibility in them.

  1. Have different workstations

Couples working from home shouldn’t consider using the same desk. Sitting in separate spaces, ideally in different rooms would help limit your communication and give each other space.

  1. Create a shared calendar

Create a calendar for each week and include tasks and responsibilities that you both are going to handle as a team. It would also be worthwhile if you can plan what you would be cooking for a week. Map out all the essential tasks that need to be done so that you feel sorted and in control of the things.  

  1. Spend time with each other

Being locked down need not mean your relationship should run out of the charm. Consider spending some quiet time together or cooking a meal for the family together amidst some fun and laughter. If reading books is something that you both cherish, then take out a book and read it out loud to your partner in turns.

  1. Reduce arguments 

Don’t let the frustration of lockdown ruin your peace of mind and relationship with each other. Avoid conflicts and bring up past issues. If something triggers up, pause for a while to calm down, ask your partner to do the same and discuss an appropriate solution to the problem.

  1. Appreciate each other

Understand that your spouse is also going through the feeling of anxiousness, uncertainty and disruptiveness. Listen to your spouse and lend him/her support. Thank each other for making the effort, express gratitude and you will find more happiness and comfort in the company of each other than you might have ever felt!

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